Are You Carrying a Suitcase That Isn’t Yours?

By Kristi M. Estrada, LPC-S, NCC, SEP

Have you ever felt like you’re carrying something heavy inside you—but you can’t quite name it?

Perhaps it manifests as a persistent sense of unease. Or a voice that whispers, “You’re not good enough.” Or a heaviness in your chest that feels impossible to shake.

For many of us, that weight is shame.

I’d like to share a personal story with you.

I grew up in foster care, surrounded by experiences and messages that told me I was unwanted, not good enough, or somehow broken. Over the years, life added even more to the load I carried—traumas, losses, moments when I felt invisible or unworthy.

It took me a long time to realize I was carrying a “shame suitcase.”

Mine was old and battered, scuffed from years of being dragged behind me. Inside it were things I thought were truths about me:

• “I’m too much.”
• “I don’t belong anywhere.” 
• “If people knew the real me, they’d leave.”
   

What I’ve learned—and what I want you to know—is that so much of what’s in our shame suitcase doesn’t actually belong to us.

Sometimes, the suitcase is packed by other people:

• Family members who were hurting themselves
• Cultural or religious beliefs about worth and belonging
• Childhood experiences of rejection, abuse, or neglect
• Systems that marginalized or silenced us

We grow up thinking these messages are facts. But they’re not. They’re old baggage we’ve been handed—and we have the right to unpack it and decide what truly belongs to us.

I invite you to pause for a moment and ask yourself:

• If my shame were a suitcase, what would it look like?
  • Is it tiny and locked shut? 
  • Heavy and battered? 
  • Bright and colorful but deceptively heavy? 
• How long have I been carrying it?
• Do I know what’s inside—or does it feel mysterious and overwhelming?

There’s no right or wrong answer. Just curiosity.

Here’s something I want you to hear loud and clear:

You deserve to travel lighter.

You are not the contents of your suitcase. You are not broken or beyond repair. You are a human being worthy of love, compassion, and belonging, just as you are.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing more reflections and practices to help you explore your shame suitcase gently and begin the process of unpacking what doesn’t serve you.

If this speaks to your heart, I’d love for you to join our Healing Servant community—a place where people like you are finding freedom, shedding shame, and reclaiming their worth.

You don’t have to carry your suitcase alone.

With hope and care,
Kristi M. Estrada, LPC-S, NCC, SEP

www.healingservant.com